We did it!
We made it one whole year. I can’t believe it. Can you? My very first real post, was How did people survive the 70’s, featuring my arch nemesis, my piece of shit Ninja Blender.
This was fluffy mackerel pudding, and no, I do not want to talk about it.
Neither does Harvey or Mr. Bee.
One of the pieces that initially got the most attention was our foray into vegan beef tartare, which went as swimmingly as you would have expected.
Davida wrote that one, and here was her conclusion:
“While the ingredients in our vegan steak tartare may have been cruelty-free, absolutely nothing about this experience was ethical. So maybe we accidentally made a poignant commentary on something? I’ll let you folks be the judge. I’m going to go wash my mouth out with blood.”
There were a few pieces that I thought were genius that barely made a splash, however.
The pumpkin spice latte I made, using pumpin spice-flavored Spam fell flat on its face.
Not too many of you even opened that email. I thought it was award worthy. Sometimes, way up on my throne as the greatest food writer in all of history, I am misunderstood.
But by far, the most traffic we got was for Beef Fizz and Clam Sweat, where apparently all of you wanted to see what happened when I made a beef-based drink.
I’d say out of all the paid subscription ones that only a select few of you received, my favorite was when I cooked a Big Mac in my Instant Pot for a full hour under maximum pressure.
Davida’s playing Animal Crossing in the other room, so I shouted and asked what her favorite pieces were.
Her votes are for The Doritos Locos Tacos Four Loko Cocoa Loco Moco, the piece where I asked a bunch of actual food experts and personalities whether or not toilet paper is edible, and my experience eating the unicorn of pizzas (at least of this year), the White Claw pizza from Blaze (this was for paid subscribers).
So we did it. We actually made it one whole year with this newsletter. I’m allowed to be proud of myself. Just this once.
Thank all of you for being here and supporting us in so many different ways. It means the world to us.
-Dannis and Davida
As a present to us, you can share your favorite pieces on social media. Or just the blog.
And thank you paid subscribers for making all of this shit happen! The support I’ve gotten from you is insane. If you’re not a paid subscriber, give it a thought, no pressure.
Venmo: @dickholedannis
And finally: Cricket seems more or less stable, but we’re still anxiously awaiting our appointment at the veterinary specialist in around 10 days which feels too far away. She’s getting lots of treats and hugs.
She wants me to tell all of you: “Miao! Thank you!”