What's your family's worst holiday recipe?

let's celebrate it together

Hi, clowns!

I’ve been extremely slammed this week, so I haven’t been able to properly sit down for more than five minutes, but I figured I’d say hi anyway, because I love you.

dickholedannis

A post shared by @dickholedannis

First of all, my little live sandwich-making session with Sandwiches of History, aka

Barry W. Enderwick

, went really well. He had me create a “School Sandwich” with him on stage, which is composed simply of butter and brown sugar on two slices of white bread. It’s a recipe from 1909, and apparently children’s taste in cuisine hasn’t evolved too much since then.

The audience voted for us to add multiple things to the sandwich as we went along, including cinnamon, bananas, gochujang, almond butter, and kidney beans, which as you imagine, is pretty tame for me. Barry did not provide us with Beggin’ Strips, otherwise that would have been a real party. In the end, we were dared by the audience to add every single extra “plus-up” to the School Sandwich, which we happily did. God, was that shit dry.

In any case — I’d meant to make this week’s post a discussion thread, but apparently Substack 86’d that function, which is too bad, so we’ll all have to make do via the comments section today.

I wanted to ask you all to tell me about your family’s worst holiday dishes so I can recreate a few of them for the newsletter! My family’s never had a dish that we all avoid like the plague, but I have a feeling that one of your Aunt Susies or Uncle Jimmies always brings something over that everyone pretends to love, but actually hates so much that you hide your helping behind the TV. Is it bad cookies? A horrific side dish? Burnt popcorn balls? I need to know!

Sound off in the comments section and I’ll keep a close creepy watch over the whole thing. You don’t have to give me an exact recipe, because chances are, you don’t have one (for a good reason). I can simply do my best to recreate the dish I pick based off its description.

And by the way, the last time I did this with you guys was absolutely hilarious.

I ended up making a recipe called “stirum” based off a fantastic comment, which was essentially a hot pancake salad with both mayo and pancake syrup on top. I think it’s incredible people just, like, eat this kind of thing, and then look at you like you’re the unhinged one for not enjoying it.

So yeah, let’s get chatty. You guys always have something unexpected to say, and I know there’s gotta be some family traditions of yours that I, too, would like to partake in. Maybe don’t tell Aunt Susie about the newsletter, though.

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Okay, that’s it for now, I know it’s a short one, but there’s gonna be plenty of stuff to talk about come next week. As always, I love you all, and I’m excited to see what you have to say. The gang says hi.