7 Comments

i would think the sodium in the cheese would dry the fuck out of skin, but what do i know. i am no scientist compared to the research genius of dennis.

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The truth is, I'm actually an ancient being that's been preserved through a generous slathering of spray cheese over my skin over the centuries. The sodium is the real secret. My true name is one that is not comprehensible in any human language, I'm that old.

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The salts preserve the skin, Pat, come on! Use your brain!

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Good luck writing future posts after your cats eat your hands off as you sleep.

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The world so needs you!

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That Easter egg link! I'm surprised your face didn't break out after all that stuff sprayed on it.

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I see acne in your future.

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