So far, I'm hearing I made people feel sick while reading this, multiple people have typed the words "unicorn jizz" in their comments, and that other people really hate mayo. I think I have done my job here.
I am literally dead. Have died. From reading the word mayo so many times. But I kept on because I love you. Thanks for the shoutout. No thanks for the mayo. Please never do this again. Love you. Also, I’m mad at the cats.
What happens? You break Substack!! For a short while the ONLY page Substack would let me access was today’s Food Is Stupid. Everything else was frozen (ha, the irony!!) or resulted in a 505 Error (whatever the hell that is, probably worse than the old reliable 404 and likely caused by cold whipping mayo and slopping unicorn jizz all over it WITH A PLAN TO EAT SAID CONCOCTION!). I went straight to Threads, narrowly avoiding Elonland, and reported my findings. Also yours Dennis! 🤡 Now do Miracle Whip!!!! XXOO (Glad you’re still feeling more like your old self, hon.)
Here's a video of someone putting mayonnaise in a soft serve machine, which seems to work better texturally than the Ninja Creami: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kauW8chLseM
I'll give you this, "What happens if you put mayo in an ice cream maker?" is utterly brilliant click bait and I mean that in the most positive way. I laughed out loud a couple of times reading this. I personally am a big fan of mayo and thought maybe you had decided to use it as an ice cream base, but just straight up mayo? Ahahahahaha. So gross. I'm amazed your mayo-loathing friend actually made it through the entire thing.
All I know is that I accidentally ate a huge acai bowl the morning I left Rehoboth, and wasn't in the mood for the best ice cream on the way home (Vanderwende's, DE). I drove home a different route to avoid passing the Vanderwende farm.
What I'm saying about acai is deploy strategically.
(I was three minutes late to a pop five minute meeting because of this article.)
Hey Dennis you should try making the mayo with the other type of ice cream maker next time, the kind where you freeze a bucket with cooling material sloshing inside its walls, then pour the custard into it and spin to churn. Might have gotten you the consistency you wanted!
So far, I'm hearing I made people feel sick while reading this, multiple people have typed the words "unicorn jizz" in their comments, and that other people really hate mayo. I think I have done my job here.
I am literally dead. Have died. From reading the word mayo so many times. But I kept on because I love you. Thanks for the shoutout. No thanks for the mayo. Please never do this again. Love you. Also, I’m mad at the cats.
The gas leak made him do it.
I think you need to turn all the logical condiments and fillings of a sandwich into ice cream, then make a savory ice cream sandwich.
You are a monster 😭
Dennis you can now say you know two Ariels that hate mayo! Although I don't think my hatred burns as hot as hers.
👯
Maybe it's genetic?
What happens? You break Substack!! For a short while the ONLY page Substack would let me access was today’s Food Is Stupid. Everything else was frozen (ha, the irony!!) or resulted in a 505 Error (whatever the hell that is, probably worse than the old reliable 404 and likely caused by cold whipping mayo and slopping unicorn jizz all over it WITH A PLAN TO EAT SAID CONCOCTION!). I went straight to Threads, narrowly avoiding Elonland, and reported my findings. Also yours Dennis! 🤡 Now do Miracle Whip!!!! XXOO (Glad you’re still feeling more like your old self, hon.)
Here's a video of someone putting mayonnaise in a soft serve machine, which seems to work better texturally than the Ninja Creami: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kauW8chLseM
This is the first time I’ve been nauseous when reading. Congratulations for making that possible!
NO!
An actual audible “NO!” in my empty house at the words “magic shell.”
vomiting in solidarity!
I'll give you this, "What happens if you put mayo in an ice cream maker?" is utterly brilliant click bait and I mean that in the most positive way. I laughed out loud a couple of times reading this. I personally am a big fan of mayo and thought maybe you had decided to use it as an ice cream base, but just straight up mayo? Ahahahahaha. So gross. I'm amazed your mayo-loathing friend actually made it through the entire thing.
All I know is that I accidentally ate a huge acai bowl the morning I left Rehoboth, and wasn't in the mood for the best ice cream on the way home (Vanderwende's, DE). I drove home a different route to avoid passing the Vanderwende farm.
What I'm saying about acai is deploy strategically.
(I was three minutes late to a pop five minute meeting because of this article.)
Dukes is dressing...
I literally couldn't even make myself read this until just now and I am still so mad about it existing 😤😤😤 and also a little nauseous
Hey Dennis you should try making the mayo with the other type of ice cream maker next time, the kind where you freeze a bucket with cooling material sloshing inside its walls, then pour the custard into it and spin to churn. Might have gotten you the consistency you wanted!
Dennis the word “Real” always worried me.
If that word's not there we're ALL in trouble