Perhaps a popcorn feedbag that envelopes your entire head, with a snorkel mask window, could work? Connect it directly to a popcorn popper for continuous feed.
You probably should have tried a burrito or Italian beef. Something tube shaped. Or alternatively, something dry, like popcorn or trail mix. Feed bags have grain in them. I suspect the horses basically tongue and lip the dry grains into their mouths.
A food hopper whose chute appears at mouth level. Strapped to the head like a scuba mask. Absolutely loaded with Bell's ingredients and well-lubricated with liquid cheese. We can do this.
A lot of Chef Boyardee in my media consumption this week. I have fond memories of those huge raviolis with surprisingly good flavor in my brief time as a bachelor living alone. Bellisimo! Or something.
Anyway, I am glad Davida was there to be the Voice of Reason in this one, and equally glad for the hilarious results of your abject failure to eat like a horse.
If it was something liquid (and a stronger bag) you could use a straw? Or better yet just use a CamelBack. Also like suggestions below of something light and salty that you could essentially "lap up."
BTW - I am all too familiar that planes still have barf bags and, unfortunately, get motion sickness fairly easy (accelerated by the pandemic/wearing a mask) and have used them often.
There is a kind of logical inevitability to this post that renders it more than perfect, if that's possible.
Perhaps a popcorn feedbag that envelopes your entire head, with a snorkel mask window, could work? Connect it directly to a popcorn popper for continuous feed.
A cone of shame with popcorn just dumped around your face, I guess.
You probably should have tried a burrito or Italian beef. Something tube shaped. Or alternatively, something dry, like popcorn or trail mix. Feed bags have grain in them. I suspect the horses basically tongue and lip the dry grains into their mouths.
Disappointed after reading the title that this wasn't the time you tried cannibalism to entertain your readers...
A food hopper whose chute appears at mouth level. Strapped to the head like a scuba mask. Absolutely loaded with Bell's ingredients and well-lubricated with liquid cheese. We can do this.
these were some truly haunting images, thank you
thank you
As I was reading this, it felt familiar, and then I remembered: https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/pilsons-feedbag-dinners/3004244
The moment when Davida notes that horses have long faces was perfection.
A. Maze. Ing.
A lot of Chef Boyardee in my media consumption this week. I have fond memories of those huge raviolis with surprisingly good flavor in my brief time as a bachelor living alone. Bellisimo! Or something.
Anyway, I am glad Davida was there to be the Voice of Reason in this one, and equally glad for the hilarious results of your abject failure to eat like a horse.
If it was something liquid (and a stronger bag) you could use a straw? Or better yet just use a CamelBack. Also like suggestions below of something light and salty that you could essentially "lap up."
BTW - I am all too familiar that planes still have barf bags and, unfortunately, get motion sickness fairly easy (accelerated by the pandemic/wearing a mask) and have used them often.