What if you just got rid of the hot dog casing as opposed to putting the fucking thing in a blender? Yes, I'm considering a hot dog a fancy sausage. But you should listen to me. Because sometimes you're dumb.
Just like the last newsletter of yours that I read, you have once again proven you are the best food writer of all times! I cracked up so many times, thank you. ❤️🌭🍔
Look I'm not gonna lie I've done this before more than once... but without the blender. You split one, and cut it into thirds to get six of the weird half-flat stubby Lincoln Logs. You bite the sixth one in half for a chef's snack, and then lay them out neatly and press the shit out of the five-and-one-half half-thirds in the pan, stick on a bun with half-burnt ketchup (what you didn't finish them in the pan with ketchup?) and top with mustard and relish. Do a double if you're not a coward.
Onlookers: Don't give me that "ketchup isn't for hot dogs" BS. This isn't a hot dog anymore, it's a hot dog sandwich.
I'm going to try this! You will either be worshipped as a God in my household ever afterward, or the authorities will contact you regarding the mysterious circumstances of my demise...
Am currently in Thailand, enjoying the greatest stoner snack the world has to offer: slices of green mango dipped in namplawan, which is like a fermented shrimp sweet chilli sauce. You can buy it from 7-11s around the country. And I am thinking to myself, how would Dannis Ree, the greatest food writer of all time, go about fucking this up using only ingredients available in a US 7-11?
Well, I think for starters, there isn't green mango or fermented shrimp anything at our 7-11. We're stuck with taquitos and ranch dressing cups?! Also we have three of them near our place and there's always cops around investigating something that happened at like all three of them...
But even wilder is they do an italian sausage on a burger bun topped marinara and melted mozzarella. In this case, they turn the sausage into a burger-like patty. It is disarming if you don’t know what’s coming, and the menu doesn’t really spell it out, but it totally rules (https://www.instagram.com/p/CncX-XmgBFH). strong recommend from me all around.
Great post as always Dannis! I remember the YouTube channel Ordinary Sausage doing a similar take on this concept (albeit theirs was inspired by a video by the youtuber Guga labelling this method a “cooking hack” and they ended it by smushing their smashdog into a meat grinder and turning it into a sausage). Great minds think alike, huh?
Please tell me that part two is Depression Dog Paté...in a bahn mi with sport peppers.
As a lifelong Chicagoan, I can say with confidence that Vienna Beef Hot Dogs are...
...not as good as Nathan's.
Fight me.
+1.
Are you going to make a meatloaf out of hot dogs?
You might be onto something...
Dogloaf.
That looks so damn good or should I say sodium good
Dad joke! 😂
Oddly a mallard doesn't have the Maillard reaction.
“One ring to add something to stretch it out, one ring to spread out the salt, and one ring to bring them all, and in the darkness bind it.”
What if you just got rid of the hot dog casing as opposed to putting the fucking thing in a blender? Yes, I'm considering a hot dog a fancy sausage. But you should listen to me. Because sometimes you're dumb.
THESE ARE SKINLESS DOGS WHO'S THE FOOL NOW ARJUN
Every hot dog has skin in the game.
Just like the last newsletter of yours that I read, you have once again proven you are the best food writer of all times! I cracked up so many times, thank you. ❤️🌭🍔
What is the Maillard reaction? I have no idea
The scientific reason meat browns. It’s pretty boring.
This was a demonic act. Going from a homogenized product to de-homogenized product is not going to do anyone favors. You are in texture hell!
What can I say? I upgraded to paid 'cuz I just gotta read part 2. 🤣
Are you the first man to turn schlongs into balls? It feels like something only the greatest food writer in history would even consider.
Time to turn balls into schlongs next!!!
Schlongception? Spherischlong?
Look I'm not gonna lie I've done this before more than once... but without the blender. You split one, and cut it into thirds to get six of the weird half-flat stubby Lincoln Logs. You bite the sixth one in half for a chef's snack, and then lay them out neatly and press the shit out of the five-and-one-half half-thirds in the pan, stick on a bun with half-burnt ketchup (what you didn't finish them in the pan with ketchup?) and top with mustard and relish. Do a double if you're not a coward.
Onlookers: Don't give me that "ketchup isn't for hot dogs" BS. This isn't a hot dog anymore, it's a hot dog sandwich.
I'm going to try this! You will either be worshipped as a God in my household ever afterward, or the authorities will contact you regarding the mysterious circumstances of my demise...
Am currently in Thailand, enjoying the greatest stoner snack the world has to offer: slices of green mango dipped in namplawan, which is like a fermented shrimp sweet chilli sauce. You can buy it from 7-11s around the country. And I am thinking to myself, how would Dannis Ree, the greatest food writer of all time, go about fucking this up using only ingredients available in a US 7-11?
Well, I think for starters, there isn't green mango or fermented shrimp anything at our 7-11. We're stuck with taquitos and ranch dressing cups?! Also we have three of them near our place and there's always cops around investigating something that happened at like all three of them...
So what you're saying is we'd end up with green gummy worms dipped in tuna and ketchup? Sounds atrocious, I think you should do it.
The best thing about travel is the FOOD!!!
My belly tells me where I want to go and eat, I'm just along for the ride! ;)
Oh man, panade! You may have to make dog loaf next.
At Jim’s Burger Haven in Westminster, CO (www.jimsburgerhaven.com), they do a hot dog burger that is essentially a burger but with sliced dogs in place of beef (https://www.instagram.com/p/CyryaT4sV4H)
But even wilder is they do an italian sausage on a burger bun topped marinara and melted mozzarella. In this case, they turn the sausage into a burger-like patty. It is disarming if you don’t know what’s coming, and the menu doesn’t really spell it out, but it totally rules (https://www.instagram.com/p/CncX-XmgBFH). strong recommend from me all around.
Whoa Jims! Glad to hear that's still there!
Great post as always Dannis! I remember the YouTube channel Ordinary Sausage doing a similar take on this concept (albeit theirs was inspired by a video by the youtuber Guga labelling this method a “cooking hack” and they ended it by smushing their smashdog into a meat grinder and turning it into a sausage). Great minds think alike, huh?