26 Comments
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Morley Zhi's avatar

The first ingredient of Salisbury snake is rabbit?! Enshittification continues

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m sailor's avatar

See this tracks, given that the first ingredient of banquet's salisbury steak was chicken

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SumGai1986's avatar

Salisbury steak is one of the things I will defend to the death because it was my favorite lunch in the school cafeteria. I don't care if it doesn't taste good, or made with mechanically separated chicken rectums, or even if someone creamed in the mashed potatoes. I still love it ❤️❤️❤️

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defective dynast's avatar

it's so unsettling when you make something that looks and tastes good

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Krissy's avatar

Zoup in the loop (RIP) had a rattlesnake and rabbit sausage soup. Don’t know why the world constantly pairs them (perhaps the rabbit is already in the snake’s belly) but I also enjoyed snake sausage. Sausage hee hee

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Kate Walker's avatar

It's respecting tradition to eat protein with foods from its own environment, like venison and red berries, so I suppose the rabbit and snake sort of fit? Perfect Dannis Ree logic, anyway!

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Dennis Lee's avatar

Yes. The outfit matches!

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Sarah Lily's avatar

“Banquet appears to be obsessed with cream.” This tickled me.

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Joel Hobart's avatar

That plating is just screaming for an accompanying Sippy Cup.

Filled with apple juice and vodka.

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Ariel's avatar

LOLLL. So good. I'm so glad you included the ingredient list. That is kind of blowing my mind. How does it taste like nothing when it's basically 100% salt!!!!!! HOW!!!!

If you ever do want a good SS recipe, the Serious Eats one is pretty amazing. Also, I love the plates you used!! SO COOT!!!

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Bonnie Canelakes's avatar

Welp in 1965 Banquet was THE latest word in “TV dinners” (even fried chicken ON THE BONE!) but they were in foil containers then that cooked in the actual oven, and had much more MSG and real huge chain triglycerides to flavor things. Big Plastic and Big Microwave ruined all that since plastic trays can’t go in the oven (that’s a completely different kind of Salisbury dish) and foil can’t be microwaved. See a pattern here?

I’ll defend Banquet right up until about 1967/68. Now it’s just an oxymoron of sorts. But in a parentless household we’d have starved without them. (Dennis I too miss the Germanic buffet restaurants of northern US yore…now that was eating!) 🤡❤️

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Lisa Angulo Reid's avatar

I thoroughly enjoyed Dennis Lee's Salisbury Snake.

Don't worry folks reading this note, it's not as snakey as it sounds. I'd recommend following the meal with a snake whiskey chaser. To aid digestion.

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Neurozach's avatar

Nope Ropa Vieja.

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Neurozach's avatar

It’s Snake ‘n Shake! And I helped!

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Arjun Basu's avatar

Sometimes a joke blooms into more, the potential just hanging there in front of it, like a bee buzzing in front of a just opened flower. This paragraph, man. This is one of the funniest paragraphs you've written and that's saying something:

The leading ingredient in the Salisbury steak is fucking chicken. Then water. Holy shit. Pork and beef are sort of an afterthought. So this stuff tasted like water because it was made with actual water.

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Adam D. Jameson's avatar

Is snake like snek? Confused. This was awesome, though! You should contact the city of Salisbury and let them know you've improved on a classic.

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DANA TEDESCO's avatar

The zinger for me is learning that Banquet uses an eyebrow pencil to draw their grill marks.

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Bonnie Canelakes's avatar

I was kind of hoping HE’D actually do that!

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DANA TEDESCO's avatar

As a person who takes eyebrows very seriously, I'm on the fence if I support this. Lol I do have plenty of products to test, though!

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S Peter Davis's avatar

Brown is my favorite flavor

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Dennis Lee's avatar

I have some "brown gravy" for you

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Courtney Brandt's avatar

Winner, winner, Salisbury snake dinner!

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