Pet store pie

a treat only a dog could love

Hi, clowns!

Turns out that you guys have lots of fun ideas when it comes down to messing around with leftover Dog Oreos. My future as a disgusting food newsletter writer would be in serious jeopardy if you all decided to start your own.

I went through and read all of your suggestions from this past week — you’re all so much fun. I secretly wanted to see which ones incorporated even more doggie chow in them, because the truth is, I was actually sent to Earth by the mothership to live out your dog food eating fantasies. There was one idea that came up multiple times, and it was specifically for a dessert that also built in the use of doggie ice cream.

That one doubly caught my interest because I don’t recall ever actually trying frozen treats meant for dogs. I figured if Dog Oreos could taste like regular cookies, the potential for dog ice cream’s palatability was high too. Even though things like Beggin’ Strips taste like total crap (trust me, I know), it seems like we humans actually want dogs to enjoy their sweets, so we’ve designed them to genuinely taste good.

Even though I’m dropping hints, I have a feeling you all know where I’m going with today’s edition of the newsletter. Also, it’s clearly stated in the headline. I’m really good at keeping secrets.

(Psst, everyone’s about to spring out from behind the couch to scream “Happy Birthday,” so act surprised, okay?)