Hang Tight...
PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOUR GODDAMN TEETH
Before you think I died, I promise I haven’t been slacking off.
Unfortunately, I finally went to go see the dentist about a nagging problem. Turns out the treatment is going to take a few visits and it’s going to be a bit before I can eat like a normal human being. I’ll be eating a lot of mashed potatoes and soup for a while. My mouth is not very happy right now.
Please, please, please, do not put off going to the dentist. And thank God for Medicaid. Parents, force your kids be in a stable profession where they can get health and dental insurance because I almost got screwed out of some of my treatment.
Tell them to be butt doctors or something. That should do the trick.
That stuff being said, something fun happened.
A reader and a long time Internet buddy, Dam, sent me a package from Thailand.
If you’ve been following along for a while, Dam was the fellow who suggested I make this abomination of a 70’s Weight Watcher recipe. That was a very bad idea, which is precisely why it was a great idea.
I did not know what was going to be in this package. It didn’t look big, but when I opened it…
Holy shit.
There’s so much in this box! This includes a roll of toilet paper which I’ll definitely have to taste test. When my mouth heals a bit, Davida and I will be making our way through the box and we’ll show you what some of these things are.
I’m particularly interested in the fiber drink (speaking of butt doctors).
Whoever wrote the copy on the bottle is going to win a James Beard Award. Actually, they’re going to win all of them. Also, I hope that is Mario Lopez on the bottle.
There you go for now — I hope you’re not too disappointed. I’ll do my best to take care of my mouth hole so I can write out of my writing hole.
Hey, thanks again, Dam!
And all of you, go to the goddamn dentist. Or be butt doctors.