Hairy soda

the drinkable dream

Oi, clowns!

Quick note: It’s Dannis, just here for a sec. Davida’s taking over the newsletter this week! It’s been quite a while since she’s graced your inboxes with her presence. In fact, it’s been over a year since she’s poked her head in, so this is long overdue.

This one’s on the paid subscriber schedule, so don’t forget to upgrade your subscription if you haven’t already. After all, her genius does deserve your support.

Okay, housekeeping’s over: The mic’s all hers.

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Hey clowns!

Davida here. I’ll be your captain this week. I think this is my first contribution to the newsletter since Dennis and I have gotten married, so I’ll be sure to match his usual vomit factor by solely referring to him as “Hubby” throughout this edition.

JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING, PLEASE DON’T EXIT OUT.

I hope everyone had a safe and fun Halloween. Dennis and I went to a cool party with a bunch of cool people, hosted by our friend Elizabeth of the podcast Don’t Ruin This For Me, which I totally recommend if you want to revisit 80’s and 90’s pop culture (their episode on The Joy Luck Club is especially good for…reasons).

Photo credit: Elizabeth Gomez

We dressed up as a lazy Colonel Sanders and “Slutty David Foster Wallace,” (an odd pair, I know), but we’ve been busy and couldn’t get our shit together for a couple’s costume in time.

I guess we could have told people we were from an alternate universe where you can unlock the eleven secret herbs and spices if you finish Infinite Jest without ever mentioning it in conversation, but that would have been tedious and convoluted and rewarding to no one else but me. Kind of like Infinite Jest. Did I mention I finishe—FUCK.

This newsletter was going to be the first completely accurate KFC copycat recipe in history, but I guess I fucked it up. So instead you’ll have to settle for reading about Dennis and I making a dumb recipe that came to me in a dream.