18 Comments
Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

After reading this, I kind of feel you're going to end up in jail at some point.

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I'm writing this comment from jail

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I hope they let you play with the food.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

I felt like having puke burps after that read.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Thank you for the article, no thank you for saddling me with the knowledge that CoreyB exists. The voice, the rhyming "jokes," the seeming unfamiliarity with the concept of canned food, the humping...we are a failed species

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Looking at pictures of both versions made me feel unwell

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

There is better dog food out there. We've opened some and have thought it might be an option to eat in the apocalypse.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

I so wanted to believe that the dog food fingers were actually good

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Have to respect any kitchen dude who is aware of the Bristol scale. That said, puppy food (vs grown ass dog food, or grown dog ass food 🤷🏼‍♀️) is the most watered down of pet food cuz it’s for well, puppies aka baby dogs. As a dog aficionado, may I recommend Bil Jack frozen dog food next time? Supermarket chains sell it! Just for texture and control. It won’t drip. It’s just actual ground beef and I dunno, hooves & tails and who knows what else. Mostly beef(ish). And like ground beef it “forms” once thawed. I don’t recommend it for dogs anymore tho at one time it was the lone “premium” dog food in the world, so, it’s perfect for your next foray into...um, cow fingers? xxxxxx 😘

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Hooray! You actually spelled Rachael Ray's first name right! Maybe I should be ashamed to admit this, but from 2002-2009 or so, I had a big crush on her since I thought she was pretty hot. When I lived in Nashville in 2007 I actually flew to Raleigh to go to a book signing of hers in the Cary suburb, and fell in love with that part of town. Little did I know I'd go to Cary again in triumph spring 2022 with dead center front row seats for my #1 musician since 2017, KT Tunstall. The Rachael trip was the beginning of my attitude of saying F it and deciding to go take big trips if they fall within 500 miles of where I live. Seen KT in Nashville 2x, Park City Utah at a 4 show residency, Cary 2x, Cincinnati, Chicago, Milwaukee, Atlanta; Jill here in CBus, Kent OH, Toledo, and Pittsburgh 7x.

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Oct 28, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Hi Dannis,

Your mistake here was going with dog food. I mean, blecch. What you need is cat food. Specifically Fancy Feast Broth Appetizers White Meat Chicken Wet Cat Food (https://www.purina.com/cats/shop/fancy-feast-appetizers-toppers-chicken-tuna-broth-wet-cat-food). But be sure to drain it first.

I swear, my cat eats better than I do...

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I am 99% sure I've tried eating those before once!!! At least from that line. Or did I give it to my cat? Some lines shouldn't be this blurred.

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Oct 28, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Crazy man 😂

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Oct 28, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Maybe you could have squeezed the beaf dog food thru cheesecloth to remove some of the moisture? Okay, I'm officially overthinking this.

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author

No such thing as overthinking anything on this newsletter, David.

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Man, I thought my dinner last night was terrible but you have really taken the biscuit. Kibble? Gross, either way.

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Oct 27, 2023Liked by Dennis Lee

Corey B was air humping?

I thought he was throwing up!

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how bad-smelling of a dish can you make? or meal, even. get some durian in there. stinky tofu. fresh-out-of-the-can chicken. century eggs, blue cheese, fish sauce... make those sessions on the porcelain throne a full on olfactory experience.

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