18 Comments

Fancy Feast inspired by this posting, I am sure

https://twitter.com/CNN/status/1553938606959599618

Expand full comment

Terrific/terrible as always, Dannis.

Expand full comment

I think you're onto something with the dried tuna being bonito flakes, I've thought the same thing as well!

I wonder what the markup on that would be to sell them as cat snacks?

Expand full comment

Probably pretty good to be honest

Expand full comment

Pet-related cuisine mockery appears to be a prerequisite for the Asian American Experience™, based on what I've seen. And heard. And lived through.

Expand full comment

You are a true psychopath, this was the article that finally made me subscribe, so i am clearly a psychopath too

Expand full comment

THANK YOU!!!

Expand full comment

But did the cats like it?

Expand full comment

I didn't have enough room to post a pic of them trying it. But they did.

Expand full comment

Was there… trouble?

Expand full comment

I can't believe you missed an opportunity to call it a Catserole.

Expand full comment

Goddammit!!!

Expand full comment

Your "mother sauce" musings had me saying, "Ah! Genius!" And then I got to thinking. I started making a list in my head of other American mother sauces (side note: realized this fits right in with JJ McCullough's "American Cultural Canon" series) and clearly mayo and ranch make the cut. But wait, couldn't these creamy sauces all be categorized UNDER mayo, a true indicator of a mother sauce? Looking at the ingredients... Yes. Yes they can. Both Campbell's cream of mushroom and Hidden Valley ranch list vegetable oil above any dairy product, and mayo is - at its core - primarily whipped oil. So there you have it. Mayo is the American bechamel... Or would it be the hollandaise? Since it traditionally includes egg yolk - and holy shit Wikipedia says mayo might be an alternate (cold base) version in some listings [citation needed]. Obvi ketchup would be another (tomato sauce equivalent) with barbecue as a daughter. Gravy from pan drippings to their espagnole... Eh. I'm sure one could get further with a deep dive on this, but I'm done for now.

Expand full comment

I have a lot to think about now...almost too much. I'm half mayo now

Expand full comment

"Interestingly, it did not taste like the pâté-like stuff we normally feed our cats, but rather like regular old canned tuna."

Oh god. I have to know how the pates are. They look so gross when I've fed them to cats.

Expand full comment

I did not see the cat milk white russian before but I'd like to say now that I once made a white russian with wawa-brand cookies and cream milk, which has 81g of sugar in one serving. We called it a Russian Twist. It was disgusting, but there's always one friend that will drink your unwanted alcoholic drinks. I once made a drink with vodka, blue gatorade, and blue baby bottle pop powder. She drank that too.

Expand full comment

Have you ever heard that axiom that goes something like "if there's isn't an asshole in your friend group, then you're the asshole?" Well, I just wondered which of my friends is the one most likely to drink any random alcoholic concoction and couldn't realize who it is...d'oh.

Also, why did you put cookies in your White Russian? The Dude would not abide.

Expand full comment

As always.....I'm speechless and hungry. My cat and I will dine together this week!

Expand full comment