The meal replacement mudslide

aka the most nutritious cocktail ever

Hi, clowns!

Now that I’ve revealed to you that my best friend during my greatest time of need is Soylent, I figured that today we’d have a little more fun with it.

I’m still in some decent pain this week, but at least my appetite has been on the level (thank you, steroids and painkillers!). That means my current stash of Soylent has remained about the same. It’s not doing much good gathering dust, so I figured I’d reach deep inside my despair to see how I could polish my current turd of a life situation into a sparkly poo-carbon diamond to improve someone else’s situation down the line.

It was now my duty as Dannis Ree, the greatest food writer in all of history, to figure out how to turn Soylent into something even more functional. There had to be a way to turn this technological nectar into something even greater.

I could build upon its current usefulness by adding even more nutrition to it. And in the spirit of utility, I could add another attribute to it that many people find valuable. I could turn Soylent into a temporary intoxicant by adding alcohol, in order to distract them from the fact that they were drinking a science experiment that has an implied marketing association with cannibalism.

So what if we made the most nutritious mudslide cocktail of all time? That fucked you up, too?