The frog salad sandwich

the other other other white meat

Hi, clowns!

Thank you all so much for the well-wishes and nice messages after the 5th anniversary edition of Food is Stupid came out! Putting 13 different types of milk in one single cake was a lot of work (and hilariously expensive), but it was 100% worth the effort, especially after sitting on the idea for so many years.

Today, we’re back on our usual bullshit, this time for paid subscribers. Don’t worry, it’s never too late to upgrade your subscription, and you can always read through the unlocked archives once you do:

If all of you guys signed up for a paid subscription, I could do this for a living, just so you know (nudge, nudge). I do not foresee this happening anytime soon, but a fellow can dream.

Davida and I frequently take long walks around our neighborhood, and as we mosey around, we chat about a lot of random shit. She likes to do things like make fun of the fact that I eat more chicken salad than any other person she knows (seriously, it’s my one true weakness, besides being kicked in the balls), and I asked her, “Hey, wait. Why don’t people make those types of salad sandwiches out of other kinds of meat?”

I mean, there’s tuna salad, and egg salad, and I’ve had the odd ham salad sandwich here or there, but I don’t recall seeing many other alternatives. So she and I started rattling off different types of meat that we could turn into salad sandwiches.

At first we started off pretty tame. I thought the idea of a steak salad sandwich was funny (imagine bloody rare steak cubes in mayo), but then we kept going onto different species. Like duck. And rabbit.

“How about a frog salad sandwich?” she asked.

I’m pretty sure I passed out right there on the sidewalk.