The delicious destiny sandwich

it's time for the experts to jump in

Howdy, clowns!

Welcome back to the stupidest rodeo on earth, where I, Dannis Ree, cobble together garbage every week to shovel into my garbage hole.

Before I dive into today’s misadventures in the kitchen, I’d like to direct your attention to a fun interview I did for my friend Shayne’s newsletter, That One Dish. (Psst, this is your cue to sign up for it, it’s free.)

I’ve known Shayne for a long time, and have done some slightly more serious food writing for her in the past. So when she asked me about what it is like being the greatest food writer in all of history, of course I was happy to tell her all about it.

If you’ve got some time today, give it a read. She’ll be following it up with another edition where she tries a concept from this very newsletter, so I’m excited to see how that experience turns out.

Speaking of the newsletter, this week’s edition, which is for paid subscribers, is a continuation of last week’s nasty destiny sandwich saga.

A few of you commenters expressed that you were genuinely upset by my childhood concoction of a grape jelly, American cheese, and pickle relish sandwich. I had a few people even admit to retching, which is hilarious, considering all three of these ingredients are normally pretty harmless by themselves. But in concert, they’re a culinary kick to your gag reflex’ taint.

Davida challenged me to find a way to make the combination palatable, and since my own taste buds were fried by the original version, I did the most responsible thing and called in the cavalry.

I consulted with a friend of mine, who I consider a veritable sandwich expert, to see if he could redeem my childhood disasterpiece and turn it into an edible one.