The bread bowl margarita

i've made a huge mess

Hi, clowns!

Miss me while I was gone on break? Well, don’t worry, I’m back on my nasty lip-smackin’ bullshit today.

Now during my last post, which was to celebrate my recent birthday, many of you called me out for not eating one of those anchovy broth tablets I used to make those magic water noodles. Apparently this newsletter is an actual playground where you all shout at me and dare me to eat woodchips.

I usually cave into this peer pressure, but before I could get to it, Food is Stupid reader Dan Costalis ran out to the Korean grocery store and bought some for himself. Then he took it upon himself to eat one, and even sent me a video of himself doing it.

This is the written account of his experience:

I propped my phone up on a bowl propped on top of another bowl and set myself in front of the sink. I wanted to make sure that when I started frothing at the mouth that I had a safe place to spit and a faucet to shove my mouth under. The forbidden Tums, unsurprisingly, smelled like fish, and I popped one in. And it was... fine? Don't get me wrong, it was saltier than Danish licorice.

It was like 100 shrimp chips compressed in a black hole all dissolving on my tongue at once. I immediately wanted water to wash it down, but that's true of a handful of peanuts. I shrugged and sent him [me, Dannis] the video even though I was incredibly disappointed. The greatest food writer in all of history passed on this challenge immediately after losing the spice battle with his wife? I just don't know what to believe in anymore.

I feel called out.

Perhaps I have lost my edge. But this is what birthdays are for, to question your very existence on this planet. Maybe I should go through a really weird middle-aged crisis and style my hair like that Benson Boone guy. I asked Dan if he wanted me to tell you guys about anything cool he’s working on, or if he wanted me to shine any light on any causes today.

Being the humble guy he is, Dan just wanted to remind you all to go enjoy your time outside this year via your local public park district. For us Chicagoans, it’d be at a place like the North Park Village Nature Center — but you all probably have some cool places to go hang out. Don’t forget to appreciate them. We could all use the fresh air, anyway.

This week’s edition of the newsletter (psst, it’s a paid one) is one that will inspire you for the next time you have guests over.

As you know, we are all starting to tighten our belts, since you can never be quite sure what the future might bring. This means entertaining may have to become much more efficient. So I thought, why don’t we find a way to have your guests enjoy a classic cocktail while also chowing down on one of their favorite party snacks at the same exact time? I’m essentially talking about an edible cocktail.

But how could you do such a thing? The answer is obvious: You combine a communal party snack with a crowd-pleasing drink, but in a whimsical way.

I thought carefully about one of my favorite party snacks, which is a spinach artichoke dip served in a bread bowl. I like this dip because it’s one that people touch aggressively with their hands, and there’s no better snack than one that’s had a bunch of fingers in it.

Then, I thought of a good party drink, the classic margarita. These are good because you can make a batch of them and serve them all night long. So who says you can’t combine the two, to create the most efficient party drink-snack combination that the world has ever known?

Introducing: the bread bowl margarita.