Mike's Hardest Beenie Weenie

if it got any harder he'd have to go to the hospital

Oi, clowns!

Welcome to another episode of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dickholes! I’m your host, Dannis Ree. Check out my cool frosted tips!

This week, I have tasked myself with cooking with a Mike’s Hard product again, but this time with something that isn’t the lemonade. Remember last week’s edition of the newsletter with the best three-word subject line you’ve ever seen?

Well, during that very same trip to the grocery store, Davida and I also found a different Mike’s Hard product, one that promises that Mike can get two percent harder.

But here’s the thing—I’m from the greater Chicagoland area, a region of the country where everyone else seems to believe we eat crime for breakfast. Harder is one thing, but today I am rising to the challenge (heh) by taking it to the next level. I don’t want Mike’s sausage to get even harder, I wanted it to get as hard as it can get.

That’s why I decided to go about 18 steps further today and add an extra ingredient to this sausage dish that could potentially double as industrial-strength floor cleaner.