McDonald's Szechuan sauce mapo tofu

thank you all for the suggestions

It’s Friday, clowns!!!!

So far, 41 is treating me just like I expected. It’s pretty much exactly the same as 40, which is to say, it’s fantastic. I’ve gone to work everyday, thought about death, watched TV, went to bed, then I did it all over again.

Anyway, thank you all for the birthday wishes. It ended up being a great day. After I came home from work that night, Davida and I went and got a membership to Costco. Now, I’ve obviously been to Costco before, but this is the first time we’ve had our own membership. I have never, ever, felt so much power in my life.

Until I looked at my photo. That brought me back down to earth real quick.

I look like a washed out swollen thumb with hair.

At some point you know I’ll write a newsletter edition where I’ll smoke 12 turkeys with a whole pallet of toilet paper. I can’t wait to go into serious debt while doing it.

On my birthday post, I asked you all to comment and give me suggestions on what to do with the remaining two packets of McDonald’s Szechuan sauce I had.

First of all, you’re all awesome, and second of all, you’ve had some great suggestions. I ended up picking this one, from MissFerrety:

Oh man would this stuff work as a base for mapo tofu? I'm sure it'd be considered sin enough to deviate from the fermented black bean sauce, but you could go whole ham on the McDonald's theme and use crumbled burgers as the ground pork, maybe some skinned nuggets (there's no way these are actually chicken, right?) as the tofu... Yes. A thousand times yes. Please make this a reality.

MissFerrety, you had me at “skinned nuggets.” Per your suggestion, the greatest food writer in all of history is tackling McDonald’s Szechuan sauce mapo tofu today.