Hard gazpacho

have your soup and drink it too

To the greatest clowns on planet Earth,

Hello! How’s it going? Things are fantastic over here, because I have diarrhea. I feel like I could just stop writing the newsletter right here and win all of next year’s James Beard Awards (including best restaurant), but that’s not fair.

You know I’m really here to show you all this cool new multifunctional soup I created, for this week’s paid subscriber edition: hard gazpacho.

“Now Dannis,” you say, with your hands on your hips. “You stupid piece of shit. Haven’t you ever heard of a bloody mary?”

Stop being haters. You see, the reason why this hard gazpacho is way cooler than a boring old bloody mary is because today, I made it into fusion cuisine. That’s right. I incorporated an element from a whole different culture into this cold fresh Spanish tomato soup, and guess what? It’s Korean!!!

You know what’s crazy about that? I’m Korean!!! And I have diarrhea!

Let’s get started, shall we?