So much to laughter with this one, but this made me giggle the most: "The cats, sensing a disturbance in the house, prowled around the kitchen, trying to figure out why their two large lumbering roommates were shouting."
That Papa Johns is in the right place. You order this. You regret your life choices. You walk into the Marines office. They take a look at you and nod aggressively. You join the Air Force.
"This is how extraterrestrial AI would make a pizza if its only datapoint was the mummified brain of a glue sniffing coyote." This comment t-boned me spiritually.
I worked as a delivery driver at Domino's in the early 90s. This order probably would have been one of those really rare runs where the driver refuses to go to the house alone because, well... even serial killer cannibals would be afraid of that pie.
Maybe the original Evil Pizza guy has some lingering Covid-related taste loss and it's the only way he can taste anything. Can't think of another reason to subject yourself to this on a regular basis.
My preferred shitty-pizza topping combo isn't too far from this - jalapeño, pineapple, mushroom, black olive, well done (but with regular sauce and cheese). I can see how the BBQ sauce, anchovies, lack of cheese, and being from Papa John's could send it over the edge, though.
I was going to suggest a game of, how few edits before it’s editable? I’m in if you sub tomato sauce and remove pineapple or anchovies. The bbq sauce seems the most offensive. Yours sounds alright
I went on a date years ago, the person ordered when I was in the bathroom. The pizza that came out had double anchovies on it well done. I didn’t date for 8 years after that trauma.
Had a coworker come to my cube and ask if I was alright while I was reading this article. I am not alright. But I kinda wanna try it.
no
So much to laughter with this one, but this made me giggle the most: "The cats, sensing a disturbance in the house, prowled around the kitchen, trying to figure out why their two large lumbering roommates were shouting."
That Papa Johns is in the right place. You order this. You regret your life choices. You walk into the Marines office. They take a look at you and nod aggressively. You join the Air Force.
"This is how extraterrestrial AI would make a pizza if its only datapoint was the mummified brain of a glue sniffing coyote." This comment t-boned me spiritually.
Bless Davida, she has the patience of a saint.
I worked as a delivery driver at Domino's in the early 90s. This order probably would have been one of those really rare runs where the driver refuses to go to the house alone because, well... even serial killer cannibals would be afraid of that pie.
put this in the "unhinged food piece" hall of fame next to caity weaver never ending TGI Fridays mozzarella sticks
Crazy that this pizza was one of the worst things you’ve shoved up your ass
Maybe the original Evil Pizza guy has some lingering Covid-related taste loss and it's the only way he can taste anything. Can't think of another reason to subject yourself to this on a regular basis.
This made me cry laughing so obviously I subscribed!
WELCOME ABOARD THE CULINARY TRAIN TO HELL
this is the spiritual opposite of none pizza left beef. its other half, the chaos to its law, yin to yang, etc.
My preferred shitty-pizza topping combo isn't too far from this - jalapeño, pineapple, mushroom, black olive, well done (but with regular sauce and cheese). I can see how the BBQ sauce, anchovies, lack of cheese, and being from Papa John's could send it over the edge, though.
I was going to suggest a game of, how few edits before it’s editable? I’m in if you sub tomato sauce and remove pineapple or anchovies. The bbq sauce seems the most offensive. Yours sounds alright
It looks like there’s only a couple of pieces left in that box.
rats and gravity got to it apparently
Likely story...
Why they do that :(
i do love me pineapple and jalapeno on pizza but good lord i did not expect to see that reddit post made again
My buddies and I used to do shooters of Papa John's garlic sauce at middle school parties. Hell yeah, eternal garlic breath.
I went on a date years ago, the person ordered when I was in the bathroom. The pizza that came out had double anchovies on it well done. I didn’t date for 8 years after that trauma.
Beautifully written, I’m glad you experienced my pizza lmao.
-evil pizza op
NO WAY HOW DID YOU FIND ME