Deviled Jesus eggs

mayo chocolate marshmallows eggs mayo chocolate marshmallows eggs

Hello, clowns!

I probably have pink eye. I will not elaborate any further upon that statement.

Earlier this week I dove into Easter territory by transforming a classic confection, Cadbury Creme Eggs, into a different type of eggy delight, Scotch eggs, which are a deep fried cholesterol-laden masterpiece. I’ve learned a lot in my years on this planet, but I hate that I now know that Cadbury Creme Scotch eggs are sort of okay now.

When I went to go pick up the Cadbury eggs, I was reminded of the fact that Easter candy aisles are filled with a shitload of other candies shaped like eggs. Nothing spells resurrection more than a chicken crapping out a calcified oval lump that’s filled with protein and fat. I mean, when I’m chomping into an Egg McMuffin, I take a bite and say to myself, “Jesus would have loved this. He fucking loved eggs.”

Egg-shaped candies are one thing, but egg-shaped candies that come in wasteful Styrofoam packaging are on a whole different level. Would Jesus have loved the death and destruction of his dad’s big green earth?

I think not.

I did some deep thinking and said, “Dannis, Jesus is an egg’s number one fan. What can you do with these odd chocolate covered marshmallow eggs to celebrate his ultimate sacrifice for you?”

I could devil them, of course. Get it? Bam, bam, bam!!!!!!!